i’ve created a universal metric system

This week, instead of asking people, “How are you?” I’ve been using the Instagram prompts I see on my profile picture each morning, such as “Current vibe?” or “Drop a thought?”. I’m not sure what your personal crowd is like, but it seems to be a pleaser for mine.

I’ve also made a new, universal international metric system to communicate with my worldly peers. Instead of converting miles to kilometers, I’ve started describing distances by how many cigarettes could be smoked walking from point A to point B (example: yeah, it’s about 3 cigarettes away). This has streamlined our communications.

I also learned from my restaurant coworker that cryptozoology is unusually popular in Nashville. He told me about the legend of the “skinwalkers,” which he says are “bald people that hang out in the forest.” I was surprised because that description sounds like people I know and someone I could very well become rather than a folklore creature.

In other news, I’ve been loving the Oatly advertising campaign that shows a barista’s mugshot with the caption “Oat dealer.” Very cute. It’s amazing to see what mere grains have accomplished over the years. From being an essential export to beer to milk substitutes, I can’t wait for the future of oats.