i’ve spent a lifetime underestimating caffeine

In the spirit of maintaining art’s presence on this blog, I have included photos of my sophomore year gender studies project, where we were tasked with making a physical representation of what it feels like to be a woman. I guess it must have not felt that good at the time.

Some of you may know that it has been 3 years since I was urged by health experts (doctors) to stop drinking Red Bull. Since then, I’ve rarely consumed any caffeine, but my boss bought me a medium-sized coffee this morning. I assumed it would have no impact on me because - despite my recent lifestyle transformation - I still think of myself as a caffeine extremist. But within 5 minutes, I was abnormally and absolutely wired. It made me rethink ever purchasing hard drugs because, for the past year, I could have simply purchased a black coffee for 5$ instead (disclaimer: all drug discourse in this paragraph is abstract; whether or not I actually have engaged in such activities cannot be determined based on this post).

I was tempted to consume the coffee because I started my second job a couple of weeks ago and, least to say, I am exhausted. But, we don’t need to get into that - although there are a couple of things I would like to mention about the job:

I’ve always wanted a female mentor that’s in the age range of 60 - 80. I think this is because I’ve always felt like a 70-year-old trapped inside a 22-year-old body, and I need to start hanging out with people who are the same pseudo-age as me. Anyway, I found this person, and she is exactly how I imagined my mentor would be if I were living in a movie. A private, emotionally flat person who somehow reeks of untapped wisdom and an important life history waiting to be investigated. Today, we smoked a cigarette outside the restaurant. It was great.

I also have a manager who closely resembles the esteemed character Sikowitz from the less-esteemed show, Victorious. More to come on this, I’m sure.